Guy Fieri Banishes Ellen DeGeneres from Flavortown: ‘You Have No Place Here!’
Flavortown, USA – In a shocking turn of events, celebrity chef and Mayor of Flavortown, Guy Fieri, reportedly took a stand against former talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, dramatically escorting her out of his restaurant with the now-infamous words: “You have no place here.”
The altercation took place at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, where DeGeneres had arrived unannounced, reportedly in search of a meal that was both vegan and gluten-free. Witnesses say the atmosphere grew tense when Ellen, known for her “be kind” brand (which allegedly did not extend to her employees), made a special request that sent the kitchen into chaos.
“She asked if we had a ‘vegan donkey sauce’ and then snapped her fingers at the waiter,” said an anonymous server. “That’s when Guy stormed out of the kitchen, sunglasses still on, backwards visor adjusted for maximum authority.”
According to multiple sources, Fieri slammed down a plate of fully-loaded nachos, pointed a heavily-ringed finger at DeGeneres, and declared that she had violated the sacred laws of Flavortown.
“Ellen, listen, this place is about good vibes and treating your staff like human beings,” Fieri reportedly said. “You have NO PLACE HERE.”
Security footage (which has since leaked online) allegedly shows Fieri personally walking Ellen out of the restaurant, arms crossed, as ZZ Top blared from the speakers. As she reached the exit, she attempted to make small talk:
“I love what you’ve done with the décor,” she said.
“Save it for the monologue you’ll never give again,” Fieri shot back before shutting the door.
The restaurant then reportedly erupted in cheers, with a sous-chef allegedly throwing a fistful of shredded cheddar into the air in celebration.
DeGeneres, visibly stunned, was seen muttering something about cancel culture before hailing a rideshare driven by an ex-Warner Bros. employee who also had a few things to say.
Meanwhile, Guy Fieri has since doubled down on his decision, posting a cryptic tweet that simply read:
“Flavortown is for the people. Not the oppressors.”
Sources say DeGeneres is now considering opening her own rival establishment—tentatively named “The Bland Café”—where every employee must force a smile for eight hours straight, and customers are only allowed to communicate via passive-aggressive Post-It notes.
More on this story as it develops.
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