Lee Greenwood Proposes “Veterans Month,” Congress Responds With Thoughts and Prayers
Washington, D.C. – Country singer and patriot-in-chief Lee Greenwood recently made waves by suggesting that America should dedicate a full month to veterans before committing an entire month to Pride celebrations. Greenwood, best known for his song God Bless the USA, argued that those who served the country deserve at least as much recognition as those who serve “sassy comebacks and rainbow-colored merchandise.”
“It’s about priorities,” Greenwood stated. “Veterans risk their lives for our freedoms, and yet we give them a single day in November, while we let Pride take over an entire month? Seems a little lopsided to me.”
In response, Congress immediately sprang into action by issuing a bipartisan Resolution of Deepest Appreciation and Non-Binding Support for veterans. The bill, which has no legal power, urges citizens to “think fondly of veterans whenever they see an American flag or hear a country song.”
“We love our veterans,” said Senator Tom Standstrong (R-KY). “That’s why we tweet about them every Veterans Day. But let’s be real—an entire month might be excessive. After all, what would we do with all that extra time? Fix the VA? Address homelessness? Seems complicated.”
Meanwhile, corporate America expressed cautious optimism about Greenwood’s idea. “If Veterans Month means selling camo-themed frappuccinos and limited-edition ‘Freedom Fries,’ count us in,” said a spokesperson for a major fast-food chain. “Supporting the troops is great—especially when it’s profitable.”
Pride organizers responded with a diplomatic approach. “We love our veterans too,” said activist Chad Sparkles. “In fact, some of them are LGBTQ+. Maybe we could compromise and just give June a patriotic rainbow theme?”
As debates rage on, veterans across the country continue to wait for something even more radical than a dedicated month: functional healthcare, housing assistance, and meaningful support beyond the occasional thank-you at Applebee’s.
For now, Greenwood remains hopeful. “If nothing else, maybe we could at least get a slightly bigger fireworks display on Veterans Day,” he said. “I mean, it’s the least we can do.”
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