Lia Strikes Declares New Law of Reality: “Our Decision” Now Supreme Over Personal Identity

Lia Strikes Declares New Law of Reality: “Our Decision” Now Supreme Over Personal Identity

Nashville, TN – Country singer and self-proclaimed Supreme Arbiter of Reality, Lia Strikes, made headlines this week with a bold statement about gender identity. The singer, who has previously expressed strong opinions on everything from oat milk to the metric system, declared that while individuals can choose their own identities, society reserves the right to collectively pretend otherwise.

“If a man pretends he is a woman, that is his decision,” Strikes stated in a dramatic press release written in all caps. “But if he wants us to pretend he is a woman, that is our decision!” Experts are still trying to determine if this was meant as a philosophical argument, a new amendment to the U.S. Constitution, or the opening lyrics of her next country hit.

The Science Community Reacts
Biologists, psychologists, and the entire field of philosophy reportedly held an emergency meeting to discuss Strikes’ groundbreaking discovery that personal identity is apparently subject to public vote. “It’s a remarkable revelation,” said Dr. Jordan Wexley, professor of Applied Pretendology. “We had no idea reality worked this way. We’ll now be polling random strangers to see if the sky is still blue or if that’s just our decision.”

Fans and Critics Weigh In
Strikes’ statement quickly went viral, igniting debates across social media. Supporters praised her for standing up against the tyrannical forces of basic human decency, while critics pointed out the logistical nightmare of having to check public consensus before referring to someone by name or pronoun.

One Twitter user, @RespectfulRedneck, asked, “So if I pretend she’s a mediocre singer, does that mean it’s official?” Meanwhile, a local barista reported that customers are now demanding a democratic vote on whether their lattes should contain dairy or oat milk.

Strikes Stands Her Ground
Doubling down on her stance, Strikes announced a new public decision hotline, where Americans can now vote on what other people are allowed to be. The hotline has already received 5 million calls, mostly from people requesting that they be officially recognized as millionaires.

At press time, Strikes was reportedly drafting another statement declaring that gravity is just a suggestion and that people should have the right to decide whether they fall down or float away.